Creating Conversation
This involves cooperation, not competition. The coach helps by assisting the client create contexts for their interpretations, beliefs and emotions. By helping fill in the background, the client gets to see their part, other peoples’ parts, thoughts and feelings and he gets to see the whole story, not just a part of it.
The coach achieves this by being a good understander; by encouraging the flow, listening with an open mind, getting behind the words, feeding-back highlights, putting the pieces together, getting to the heart of things, staying on track, checking for understanding and giving feedback.
A good conversation is said to have occurred “when all participants feel that they have been really listened to.” Whereas this is absolutely true for everyday life, in coaching terms it is most relevant that clients feel they have been really listened to. The client will know how they have been listened to, if the coach clearly demonstrates that he has understood what the client is saying. Indeed, it is more than this. By asking questions to help him understand, the coach often helps the client to really understand their own story, their own world.
In an organisational context, this is hugely important. Only by engaging in a real conversation with individuals and leaders can one even begin to help oneself and the participants elucidate the values, vision, strategy, frustrations and complexities of the organisation. Without understanding organisational context, coaching of individuals and teams will have limited benefit.
