Goals and Goal Setting
We set goals that, when achieved, will enhance our lives and bring us pleasure.
They are distinct from dreams or idle wishes in that there is positive intent, absolute commitment and ongoing planned action.
Goals give purpose to our lives. They can be defined as:
What we want to BE
What we want to DO
What we want to HAVE.
We can create goals in any area of our lives that we choose to. Frequently, one works on those shown in the list below. A useful tool in helping create and prioritise goals is the "Wheel of Life" exercise:
| Career Home / House Finances Career Community Friends Social Life Health |
Wellbeing Personal growth Spiritual Development Close Family Wider Family Community Partner/romance Education/knowledge |
Without goals, one is like a rudderless ship, adrift on the ocean of life. Here, rather than having control of ones life, one hands it over to events, circumstances and other people. One can seem like a puppet, feeling upset, frustrated, angry, anxious or even depressed.
Individuals may be doing a lot in their lives and even achieving a lot but, if the goals have been set by others and/or if they do not bring fulfillment and pleasure, then they may be the wrong goals.
Achieved goals only bring pleasure and contentment, if they are congruent with one’s values. It is therefore important, in a coaching context, to carry out a Values-Elicitation-Exercise.
SMART Goals
We are most likely to achieve our goals when they are SMART:
Specific: Vagueness doesn’t work! Be precise! For example: “I want to improve my communication with my employees”, is NOT enough. Specifically it could be written as: “I will ensure that 80% of my employees give me a positive rating on defining my company’s vision, strategy and goals, by next March.”
Measurable: For example, “I will increase my turnover/ earnings by 20%.” And not: “I will improve my turnover”
Action-related: One must agree what the next action-steps are at the end of each coaching session then hold oneself accountable for fulfilling on these actions.
Realistic: This does not mean that the goals should not be challenging. On the contrary, they should stretch one’s abilities. Thus, when they are achieved, the results are more fulfilling. However, if they are unreasonable, they create an” I’m swamped” feeling, despondency and are likely to fail.
Time – Related: It is crucial to plan milestones for what one plans to achieve. In other words, a 5-year goal can be broken down into monthly goals and accompanying tasks. Without a timeframe, one can easily prevaricate and do nothing!
Remember!
The only way to eat an elephant
is one bite at a time!
Types of goals
Goals can be defined as:
1) Towards / Go up / Growth goals. These move one towards the person one wants to become. For example, a career change, study for a new degree, become a carer, coach etc. One should only discuss/ these with people who will support you in achieving them. Many people will attempt to (mostly inadvertently) sabotage your goal. They do so because they genuinely fear for you, or don’t believe you can do it, or feel they will “lose you” or be afraid that it will not allow them to achieve their goals. So, they will talk you out of it. To achieve “Towards goals” that will inspire us and fill our lives with enthusiasm, we need to have the self-belief to step out of our comfort-zone. Sharing with too many people will most likely stop your progress!
2) Away from / Give up goals. These related to giving up what we consider to be bad habits. They include over-eating, stopping smoking, watching too much television etc. These should be shared with as many people as possible. It is a good idea to ask them to hold you accountable.
3) Deficiency goals. These only become important in our lives when a problem arises. For example, we implement a goal of becoming fitter after having had a threatened heart-attack, or to deal with anger-management when our partner has walked out.
Support It is great to have friends/ colleagues who will/ support us in achieving our goals, and will hold us accountable. But, we need to know what type of goal we have and carefully select those with whom we share it.
Goal Achievement
As already stated, the crucial components in achieving ones goals, and getting the consequent feelings of fulfilment and happiness, depends on persistent action, empowering beliefs / behaviours and alignment with one’s values. Other helpful ongoing traits and behaviours are:
Writing down the goals and sub-goals
Using the present tense
Checking that one is passionate and enthused by it (check values).
Getting support
Acquiring skills/knowledge
Being positive
Using affirmations and visualization
Acknowledging and rewarding one’s milestone achievements.
